I Am*

I can't keep doing this to myself.
I'm falling apart at the seams.
Nobody really knows.
I need help.

Help.
Can't cry.
Just need to cope.
But when it's bad, should you?

Maybe the thoughts are right.
Maybe I deserve bad stuff.
I can't keep this up.
I want to hide.
I want to die.
Please.

Please.
Let me bleed.
Let me drink it away.
I'll go away and never return.
To save everyone from the burden of me.

Burden.
I am not worthy.
I am not important.
Nothing really matters now.

I am conflicted and confused.
I am in a community.
But I am nothing.
I am a liar.
A faker.
Burden.

Hatred.
For myself.
Misery and pain.
So much inescapable agony.

I will do what needs to be done.
I will continue to pretend.
I am fine and okay.
Nobody will know.
Or care.
Alone.

Alone.
By choice.
By lifestyle.
Push them away.
I do not deserve them.
Nobody can save me from myself.

Save me.
But I cannot say it.
Help me.
But I dont deserve it.
Be here.
But I cannot ask for it.

Tell me.
Tell me who you see.
Tell me who you think I am.
Tell me what you think I need to hear.
Tell me that the voices are wrong and I shouldn't listen.

I am broken.
I am hurt.
I am alone.
I am scared.
I am terrified.
I am afraid.
I am lifeless.
I am blank.

I will be still.

*Written by an unkown author