Y'know...

Y’know, I thought you were different
I thought that you cared
I thought you might help me out
Whenever I was scared.
I thought you were more
I thought you’d understand
But now I realize how wrong I was
You’re just another friend on demand.
Here one minute
Gone the next
Never sticks around for very long
Just enough for what everyone expects.
I thought I could trust you
Tell you my deepest fears
But through the days and weeks
I’ve been drowning in my own tears.
Where are you when I need you the most?
Where are you when I’m at the bottom?
When will I have the courage to tell you,
About how you haunt me like a phantom?
Thoughts of you drift in and out
Constantly plaguing me
They never go away, they never give up
When all I want is to be free.
Y’know, even when you’re a complete ass
No matter what you do
There isn’t a single thing I wouldn’t forgive
And come crawling back to you.
I can’t live without you
Now that you’re in my life
But being near you hurts like hell
Like being stabbed with a searing knife.
I hate having to push you away
But I know it’s for the best
I wish I could keep you by my side
Through the good and all the rest.
But I know that it can never be
I don’t know if you can even still be my friend
Forever being punished for the curse I bear
Always being forced to pretend.
I worry about you night and day
I’m kind of surprised you don’t see
I wish I could be with you
But you would never want to be with me.
I should probably just move on
Or so I’ve been advised
Start looking for a new “only one”
Someone with whom I wouldn’t have to live disguised.
I’m beginning to give up
I’m starting to lose hope
I don’t know how I can go on living like this
Always just looking for ways to cope.
I guess I’ll just have to keep going
As I always do
Perpetually going through the motions
Living a life considered to be taboo.